7.19.2009

The Singing Waiter

Eric Boyd Vogeler 123 Mysteria Lane Salt Lake City, UT 84111 (801) 555-7445 thesingingwaiter@hotmail.com
Objective Sing my heart out, serve delicious food and bring joy and happiness to the World Education Master of Entertainment, December 1982 to present The School of Hard Knocks, The Universe I live in Juris Doctor, J. Reuben Clark School of Law, April 2009 Brigham Young University, Provo, Utah Thesis: “The Hilarity of Law; or Why Lawyers Commit Suicide” MC: “The Opening Social” August, 2007 “The Halloween Social” October, 2008 “The Awards Banquet March, 2009 Singer: “The Italian Birthday Singer” December, 2006 “The Phantom Skit” March, 2007 “The Pained Face Guy” March, 2009 “The Talent Show Guitar Guy” March, 2007 & 2008 Bachelor of Useless, Yet Interesting, Information, May 2006 University of Utah, Salt Lake City, Utah Fluent in Spanish, Portuguese, Witty Banter, Food Ordering, Mixylodian and Diatonic Scales Experience Musicals Performed as Tommy Albright in East High School’s production of Brigadoon, November, 2001 to rave reviews from at least three, non-familial, non-obligatorily attending audience members Delighted audiences by splitting pants and acting hysterical as “The Mayor” in Clayton Middle School’s production of Bye, Bye, Birdie!, November 1996 Restauranting Extensive experience ordering, sampling, and recommending food to those who really don’t care what I think, and probably aren’t listening to me anyway Singing Sang, warbled, and delighted my way through choir training at the instruction of Dr. John Cooksey, University of Utah, 2001-2005 Awards and Interest #1 First-Born Son, awarded continually by Marcia Vogeler, Dec. 15, 1982 to present Most...Interesting...Stage Kiss, Brigadoon, East High School 2000 Best Non-Singing Waiter Birthday Song Singer, Geneva’s Birthday Party Participants (simple majority vote), Macaroni Grill, December 2006 Favorite Law Student Voice (Male) Class of 2009, as presented by Marie Davies

3 comments:

Mel said...

I would hire you. Though I would like to know your definition of "...Interesting..." I need to know how I did.

April Celeste Garff said...

Did you give up looking for a legal job and change your profession? Ha ha. This was too funny. I especially love the award for firstborn son and degree in totally useless information.

Jenna said...

It's really a shame that you're busy studying for the bar because I could use more of these Alternate Job Resumes to read while i'm bored at work. Hilarious, really.