...and you didn't think it could get better!

...Well, it did! Not only did I get engaged over the weekend, but I got a job offer. [Mental "YAY!!!" everytime I write, read, or say that.] Sorry to not share it immediately, but a guy has to keep his priorities straight. The engagement was way more important. And WAY more nerve-wracking. Details: Judicial Clerkship in Bountiful, Utah. Starting September 8, 2009. One year term. I get to research relevant statutory law, draft orders, opinions, and bench memos. Basically, a super-qualified, inexperienced personal assistant to a judge. And perhaps most importantly, it pays the bills, keeps me close to the fiancee (she also has a job in Bountiful), and basically fell right into my lap. Miracles Numbers 5, 6, 7, and 8, respectively. I hate to toot my own horn, but I just feel so blessed. Alright, I probably don't hate to toot my own horn, otherwise I wouldn't have this blog, but I still feel so, so stinking blessed. If anyone wants a 10 minute talk on faith, perseverance, and miracles, I'm your man.



I apologize for the delay between posts...again (sigh)...but this one's due to something even more monumental, and so much more tremendous than the Bar Exam. I'll be quick: I'm gettin' hitched! I asked the lovely Erin Suzanne Roundy, of Holi Festival Fame and winner of the most beautiful fiancee award (presented only once by Eric Vogeler), to marry me this last Saturday, and miracle of miracles... she said "Yes." (And very quickly too, I might add.) She has a sweet, quick rundown (plus video) of how it went over on her blog. Go there for what really happened. Below, I'll give you my mind's version of what happened that day, at certain times of the day. SATURDAY, AUGUST 22, 2009 8:00 am Wake up, cold sweat, excited feeling. Hazy knowledge that today is a big today. Consider singing in the shower with joy or vomiting in the shower with nerves. 8:20 am Miraculously, accomplish both feats simultaneously. First of many miracles to come. 9:00 am Contemplate food. Think better of it. Wander aimlessly through the house, thinking of what I need for the day. Remember that I'm going to ask the most beautiful woman on earth to marry me; faint a little bit. 9:05 am Recover from the bout of the vapors, realize I have to be in Provo to help a friend with the LSAT at 10, and make my out to the car. 9:12 am Say a little prayer that I will neither sing, vomit, faint, or otherwise incapacitate myself while on the freeway. 9:32 am Think "So far so good..." and immediately notice a billboard near Point of the Mountain hawking both Rings and Wrenches. Am reminded that I'm going to ask my smokin' girlfriend to become my even more smokin' fiancee. Grin all the way to Lehi. 9:45 am Ponder on the potential irony of "Wrenches" and pray that all goes smoothly today. Close my eyes and think "I can do this...I can do this...I'm OK..." Simultaneously sing, vomit, faint, and shout for joy...in my mind. So as to not die on the highway. 10:00 am Arrive in Provo, UT: World capital of marrying, getting married, and otherwise plotting to get married. Consider kissing the ground and giving thanks to the divine for allowing me to arrive safely. Instead, head immediately over to the Provo Library for some LSAT tutoring. 11:45 am While wrapping up LSAT tutoring and Logic Games, remember what I'm about to do today. Brain gives up the ghost and shuts down to preserve sanity. First of many brain shut downs to come. 12:05 pm Send a text message to my Honey, telling her I'll be in Provo until about 4 pm. First of many lies/surprises to come. 12:06 pm Get in car and leave Provo City Library. Get instantly cut off by elderly woman coming from the opposite direction. Consider yelling, but am too amazed by how she did it. Also, realize I'm too nervous to be anything close to angry. A low buzzing sound begins in my head. 12:13 pm Mistake low buzzing for hunger. Chew on the thought of food. Stomach, in show of fortitude and general nervous grouchiness, rebels and threatens a "walk out" if food is offered. 12:35 pm Pass another foreshadowy sign: Utah Weddings. Accept this as a good omen and quickly pass a black ladder truck on the right. 12:45 pm Arrive at home base: my parents' place. Dash inside. 12:46 pm Madly search for tuxedo. 12:47 pm Find tuxedo hanging where I'd left it the night before. 12:48 pm Madly search for cumberbund and bow tie. 12:50 pm Fail in mad search. Collapse in heap of frustration, sweat, and tears. The first and only such heap of the day. 12:50:30 pm Mother calmly hands me a black bow tie and red cumberbund. Brain indicates that this is wrong. Body threatens another heap, but Mother quickly suggests wearing cumberbund inside out. Brain thanks Mother loudly. 1:12 pm Wonder if mouth succeeded in thanking Mother verbally. Put it on checklist of things to do. First of many checklists yet to come. 1:30 pm Planning on surprising the love of my life around 2:00pm, I leave parents' house. 1:35 pm Arrive at former place of employ: the Rose Shop. Hope at least one former co-worker will be present. 1:36 pm Realize that no one I know is working that day. Angel of a man takes my order and declares that together it will be X dollars. 1:38 pm Talk loudly about the "good ol' days" with "Larry, Mel, and Jackie" and how I used to "LOVE working there" (all true, of course) in hopes of securing floral discount. 1:39 pm Angel of a man declares that, because I used to work there, flowers would be X dollars. Brain smiles at discount. 1:41 pm Wallet angrily states that "discount" was not real. Only perceived. Brain still smiles. 1:50 pm Arrive at "Secret Location:" Gateway Mall, Summer Parking. 1:55 pm Park inconspicuously. Remember that Sweetheart's only request was "Make it a surprise" and "Make it in public." Make mental checkmarks and hunker down to await the signal from Sweetheart's best friends. 2:05 pm Get call from one best friend: "She's still in Kaysville." Mouth responds with "What?!" Brain responds by casually shutting down. 2:10 pm Brain reboots. Informs self that driving from Kaysville to Salt Lake City is at least 30 minutes. Hand turns keys and activates air conditioning. 2:15 pm Worried that car battery might die/explode/otherwise fail with prolonged usage, brain forces hand to turn key yet again and turn off air conditioning. 2:15:20 pm Car heats up to stifling. Realize that tuxedo may be debonair, but definitely not cool. 2:25 pm Turn on air conditioning again to keep brain and body alive. Come to realization that nerves have not gone away since early afternoon. Masochistically add to nerves by running "Engagement Scenario 1" through mind. 2:26 pm Engagement Scenario 1 involves acoustic guitar, flowers, ring, a beautiful rendition of "Can't Take My Eyes Off You," tears in Beautiful's eyes, and a quick "YES!" 2:30 pm Turn off Air Conditioning (AC) again. AC has become life saving, and therefore gets capitalized. 2:32 pm Day dream about turning AC on again. Nerves demand day dream about Engagement Scenario 2. 2:33 pm Engagement Scenario 2 involves no guitar, no singing, only flowers, tux, and ring. "Yes" comes, but perhaps a little less quickly. 2:35 pm Turn on AC again, realize that Scenario 1 is vastly superior and abandon all hope for alternative Scenarios. Nerves clench, body begins to shake. 2:38 pm Wonder if Sweetness is in Salt Lake yet. Force hands to stop shaking and begin to practice song. 2:43 pm Ponder the meaning of the Olympic Athlete Stick Figure in the Iron Cross position on the red pillar in the underground parking and pray I can have that kind of stamina. Brain snickers and says "Ha!" too loudly for comfort. 2:47 pm Mother-Daughter combo park next to stifling car and stare rudely in at the shaking, obviously disturbed tuxedoed man waiting and mumbling to himself inside of stifling car. Notice their staring and stare back, mildly perturbed. Begin to make plans to explain "Engagement Scenario 1" to Gateway Security, just in case. 2:50 pm Turn on AC again. Immediately get text from best friend: "Finding Parking." Begin psych-up self-motivation. "You're awesome! Remember that! She Loves You! Remember that! This is Going to be Perfect!" 2:55 pm Emerge from Gateway Underground Parking Lot, spot girls on the other side of glass doors, notice nice man in wife beater hanging out on steps and ask if he'll "Watch my guitar case for five minutes?" Nice man nods. Butterflies invade stomach. Manage to exit the parking lot under own power and follow group of girls that includes Love. Miracle 2 has just occurred. 3:00 pm Approach group, praying Future Fiancee won't spot other Future Fiancee approaching rapidly, albeit dizzily, almost drunkenly. 3:01 pm Reach group. Surprise One Day Wife, give her flowers, and begin to sing while strumming guitar. 3:01:20 pm Realize that song is being sung in the wrong key. Try to fix pitch and overall balance so as to not topple over off key. 3:01:25 pm Realize that song is too long for already weakened Body and Brain. Decide to employ Engagement Scenario 3: GO FOR BROKE! 3:01:45 pm Forget lyrics, look to Wonderful for help, she fills in the lines and smiles. Heart makes first vocal appearance and shouts "YES!" 3:02 pm Brain and Body unite in shutting down rest of three verse, two chorus song, and force Legs to one Knee. 3:02:03 pm Mouth asks, in its too-loud way, "ERIN ROUNDY!" (awkward pause as Fingers awkwardly open ring box) "...will you...hnghhhh...MARRY ME?!" 3:02:05 pm Body, Brain, and Soul shut down waiting for answer. 3:02:05:01 pm Erin Suzanne Roundy says "Yes." Quickly. Decisively. Wonderfully. Body, Brain, and Soul simultaneously squeal with delight. Mouth simply smiles. Lungs, for the first time in minutes, actually breathe. Miracle Number 3 has just occurred. 3:03 pm Realize that now Fiancee needs the ring on her finger. Clumsily, shakily, awkwardly pull ring out. Clumsily, shakily, awkwardly place ring on her finger. 3:03:10 pm Realize, to my horror, that ring doesn't fit over second knuckle of Lover's left ring finger. 3:03:15 pm Gorgeous whispers, through smiling teeth "Push. Harder." Hands push harder, ring glides on. Engagement Scenario 4 ("Run Away Screaming") is discarded as quickly as it was created. 3:04 pm Stand up, feel the weight of a "Thousand Horrible Engagement Scenarios Gone Wrong" lift from my shoulders and flutter harmlessly away in the breeze. Hug Beautiful. Kiss Beautiful. Body, Brain, and Soul unite in a chorus of "Yippeee!" 3:05 pm Look into Sweetness' eyes and realize that my life is amazing. And I get to share the rest of it with someone even more amazing. Miracle Number 4. And that's how it happened. The Beginning of the Best Day Ever (so Far).


This guy needs to be careful not to take off into the atmosphere. Seriously. I imagine death by asphyxiation in the cold deep of space is not the most pleasant way to go. Is this for real? He just shattered his own world record. Again. Usain Bolt is...unreal. And fun to watch. Interesting that man is still finding ways to be bigger, faster, stronger. Without drugs. (I hope).


Five Things I've Learned Post-Bar

I know it's been a while. I apologize for the delay, and any excuse I throw out will ring hollow, because while I am busily job searching right now, I'm also performing some heavy light reading, leisurely workouts, and more reading. Being free from any immediate deadlines and crunches certainly has its advantages, but there's also an eerie calm in my life, which in my experience usually precedes a whirlwind of action, stress, and goal-launching. Still, while I'm in the calm, here are five things I've learned after the Bar exam. 1. The Sun Never Sets on Law & Order Literally. Like the Royal British Empire, there is an episode of L&O showing somewhere, on some channel, in some iteration--you know, Original, SVU, and Criminal Intent. I swear, Dick Wolf's brainchild is omnipresent. If you crave procedural crime dramas that follow the same basic plotlines time after time after time, this is your comfort food. And its available like Twinkies at a Scout Camp. 2. College Football Makes me Happy ...especially when the home town teams are doing so bleedingly well. Utah? Yeah. Getting all kinds of love from no less than Sports Illustrated. Undefeated, Sugar Bowl victory. Even got their time to shine on the floor of the Senate. This year is their chance to prove it wasn't a fluke. BYU? Already being lauded for having one of the best recruiting classes in the Nation (for 2010...), the Cougars are looking to stir things up as well, and could with an experienced offense and a pretty deep defense. USU? Well... they have a new coach! And they can only go up from here... To me, Fall Saturdays are not just fun, they sometimes take on a less-holy, more violently religious Sabbath-day aspect. In short, Fall Saturdays are sacrosanct, my friends. It's just--Football!!! XD 3. United States: "Race? What do you Mean?! I'm Colorblind, Man!" I kinda thought (and at least hoped) that we'd moved past the ugly racism of the early- and mid-20th century. At least into a light race-tension where everybody tried to get along. No. This Henry Louis-Gate incident pretty much mucked it up for everybody. For the record, both sides were at fault. For the best analysis of the whole snafu, here's the Daily Show (Warning, there are some bleeped out swear words for the more sensitive among us):
The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Henry Louis-Gate - Race Card
Daily Show Full EpisodesPolitical HumorSpinal Tap Performance
4. Politics is Messy
Yeah, I know. Duh, right? Well, consider this latest a lasting impression. The lady's mom is running for Mayor of Kaysville, and while I won't reveal the intimate details, icky, Dickensian villains are appearing near the margins trying to weasel, backstab, and ooze their way into positions of power. In Kaysville. City of Distinction. Population: 20,351 (2000 Census). You know the world is going to Hell when people in our great small towns start stooping to dirty politics to win city council and mayoral positions. Or maybe it's just business as usual. If it is, [sighs and puts head in hands] consider me a little more jaded than usual. 5. My Childhood is the Most Lucrative Thing Hollywood Ever Encountered Consider this: Of late, the hugest (sp?) movies of the year have capitalized on my childhood. To wit:
  • Transformers 2 has made about a gazillion dollars in a month.
  • Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince made as much and should move even more money overseas in the coming months.
  • GI JOE is coming out next week and should make about a bazillion dollars on its name alone, regardless of whether it sucks
Of the highest grossing films of 2010, most were based on Comic Book or Saturday Serial characters (or their archetypes) of my childhood:
  • The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
  • Iron Man
  • Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
  • Hancock
  • Kung Fu Panda
  • Batman Dark Knight
Some of the most anticipated movies coming up are:
  • TRON 2 (Remember the light cycles? I have a t-shirt somewhere in my old closet), the sequel to the computer graphics touchstone film TRON.
  • AVATAR, a movie based on, you guessed it, living in another fantasy world while breathing and eating in our own.
  • District 9, a movie based on Apartheid, race relations, South Africa, and really cool stuff that blows up or moves fast.
In short, my childhood has directly resulted in Hollywood making more money than it ever has before. And I wonder if it's a direct result of my generation finally being the driving force behind the entertainment industry, or if we were just blessed with really, really cool shows and ideas in the early to mid 80s. Knowing Hollywood, I'd bet it's more of the former. They're nothing if not observant and willing to use whatever leverage they can to make a buck. I feel very validated now, thank you.