I Just Couldn't Pass This Up!

I can't remain TOO serious for TOO long, right?! Right. I needed to share this cover from the February 28, 2008 issue of the Economist.

Черт возьми медведей! If only the Wall had never come down...Lenin could have stopped this travesty. This wannabe Winnie the Putin is more like a modern day Yuri Bear: "Hey, Boo-Boris, let's get another barrel of oil." (That line was contributed by good friend and genius, Brigman Harman).

Really, I'm very concerned for Russia's future if their oil reserves are threatened by petroleum-hungered bears...but it was the Economist who reported it. It HAS to be true, right?!


A Delay

It's been a while between posts. I apologize for that, but life has been hectic. Service projects, school projects, work projects, family projects, dating projects, etc. have all taken a toll on my time. And you know what? I can't complain. Life is good. Life is GREAT! So, in lieu of my planned "grammatical tirade" as Madelyn has so eloquently coined the majority of my posts, I've decided to play the serious card again. I don't get to often, so each chance is refreshing. I guess I've been thinking a lot about the human experience lately. Some trite truisms would have us believe that "We're born, stuff happens, we die." Well, yes, that is ultimately true. But it hardly seems to encapsulate the sheer breadth and depth of our lives: the STUFF, people, is BREATHTAKING! Imagine what goes on in a typical day--your cells regenerate themselves, dying, reproducing, regenerating, going through a million tiny lifecycles that you never perceive. You feel the sunlight on your skin, the PERFECT amount of ultra-violet, yellow light and heat to maintain what we know as life. Life and death cycles around you and in you always. Most of us take these things for granted, and that's OK, because if we all stopped to appreciate the beauty and splendor of the little things in our lives, nothing would get done. There'd be a lot of auto-pedestrian accidents involving people who were marveling at the intriguing binary texture of roughly smooth asphalt while the oncoming driver was taking in the sheer amount of Nagas that must have been killed to produce the nagahyde covering his steering wheel. And that would hardly be a good day or good stuff for either person. We usually don't celebrate things that are out of the ordinary, no matter how extraordinary the mundane can be. Most days aren't "special." No one saves a tiny little grandma from the burning building every day. Well, not many people, anyway. But occasionally, there are days where you do something worth noting. ALL OF YOU DO THIS STUFF. Stuff that, for some reason, makes people stand up and go "oooooooh." Those are nice days. Those are the days you break away from the ordinary, where you reach outside of yourself and stretch beyond the borders of your soul. You redraw the lines of your map and paint them a little further out than they had been before. A little bit larger, your own empirical self-expansionist. And by doing that, you allow more people to participate in your life. And what are we if not car friends on this strange road trip of life? But you know what's most fascinating about us? People are painfully beautiful. Here is some of the most beautiful stuff that we do: We cry for the thousand empty shoes that will not be tied today; we ache for the people we leave behind, the faces we never knew well enough, the hands that once loved us and now beat us; we regret the roads we took, the doors we shut, and the choices that led us to today; we wink, we sway, we nod, we dance, we tap fingers, we secretly sing at the top of our lungs when we think no one is around, we twirl, we flirt, we smile, we laugh; we stand on rocky peaks simply to watch the sun rise, just as it did yesterday, and just as it will tomorrow; we waste, we use, we repeat; we think nothing of helping someone when we can't even help ourselves; we talk to each other, we make each other laugh, we delight in each other's smile, we worry about each other, we care about each other, we cry for each other. Man. we are cool. (Note: this image comes to the BWP via http://www.smokingdrum.co.uk/?p=31. Visit the blog--there's some cool stuff. Thanks!)



Yes, I am still alive. School is kicking my trash. Look for a new post on Wednesday. I have a lot of pent up stuff to let out... Eric



Party Time!!! WOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOO. Well, here they are. Your 100th-ebv-Post Questions of Zen. Enjoy!

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Blogger SteveJJohnson said...

What is the least favorite thing that you've endured in your life (besides law school) that you wouldn't change if you could do it over again?

There are lots of things, but one thing in particular sticks out in my mind: Kurt Russell's remake of the classic movie "The Poseidon Adventure," shortened for the ADD generation to simply "Poseidon." Let me set the scene: Cinemark Movies 10 in Salt Lake City, Utah. It's dollar Tuesday. I'm 23. I'm with 6 or 7 really close friends. We strain to make it to our seats, gum and soda residue sucking and slurping at our shoes. We think we're the only ones in the theater. The previews were for films that were coming out on DVD in a few days. The air conditioning kept us somewhere above freezing and a shade under comfortable. Highlight of the movie? A "Rogue Wave" hits the cruise-liner and flips it upside down. We know we're in for a long one when the recently crushed gay architect Richard Dreyfuss (we know he's gay because he has an earing) takes our hero fireman, Russell, aside and shouts "I'm an architect so I know ships aren't designed to stay afloat upside down."

Ouch. That, my friends, is a line! Simply groaning seemed like too much effort to go to for this stinker. And from there, it didn't get much better. Fergie died, there were lots of explosions, Kurt Russell drowned, and there were some more explosions.

Wow. Ex Post Facto Spoiler Alert!!! Sorry if I ruined the movie for you.

But you know what? We embraced the awfulness of the Poseidon experience. Turns out, we had the time of our lives! We were free to throw popcorn at the screen, boo, hiss, comment, mock, and generally have our way with the film. It was fantastic! We were almost sad to see the final credits roll up the screen.

And apparently we weren't the only ones to have the time of our lives. After the entire two-hour extravaganza, the couple "sitting" on the front row sat up. I don't know what was funnier, our reaction to them or their reaction to us. Silence followed by giggles followed by embarrassed glances at the sticky carpet.

I learned that day to appreciate the bad with the good, the sticky with the smooth, the Fergie with the Dreyfuss.

Blogger Natalie L. said...

If you were able to choose one super-human power what would it be and why?

Thanks for the question, Natalie! I've often dreamed of having a super-human power, especially during those long lectures at Law School. My ideal power, if I could only have one, would be one of two:

1) Manipulate time and space. Ever wanted to go back and change something awful that happened? Wanted to tell someone how you really felt? Voila--life changed! Tired of sitting at your desk in Provo, Utah? BOOM! You're dining on crepes and fromage in a little cafe in Paris, France.

2) Be a Jedi. I know, I know. Every little boy to have ever watched the Star Wars trilogy wants to become a Jedi. But in my little boy heart, I know I would be a fantastic Jedi Knight.

Blogger David said...

1. If everyone could have the same characteristic, what would you want it be - and of course why? 2. What would make Provo your ideal city? 3. Maybe I've missed this because I'm still working back on the blog. But what are the top differences between BYU and Utah grads?

David, the respective answers to your questions are: "1) A sense of humor about themselves," "2) A sense of humor about itself," and "3) A sense of humor." Thanks Eric!

You're welcome, David!
Blogger gurrbonzo said...

Would you prefer to walk in on your parents or have your parents walk in on you?

Isn't that kind of like asking "Would you prefer to die by firing squad or lethal injection?" In the end, I'd like not to die, thank you. But for my own sanity, and this is purely selfish, I'd rather have them walk in on me. Whether it be playing scrabble, watching television, or...other things, I'm fairly certain "There's nothing about me my mom hasn't seen before." At least, that's what she always tells me.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Which character on "The Office" do you relate with and why.

A cross between Michael Scott and James Halpert. Michael because I secretly love Battlestar Galactica, the smell of bacon cooking in the morning, and women who are bad for me. Jim because I'm horrible at first-person shooter games (except Goldeneye), I always have horrible timing when it comes to dating/kissing/trying/wanting to date girls, and I seem to attract odd nicknames, a la "Big Tuna." Vogels...Bob...Vogelshire...Doof...

Blogger Kari said...

What's your favorite moment of law school thus far? What style of dance is your favorite?

Well, these questions seem to be interrelated: The Law School's Macarena: "Just go dance the Scalia! Hey Scalia, hey Scalia...ooooooh, the Scalia!"

Blogger Vanessa said...

I know, I know...I'm late. I'm sorry! But I must remain consistent in my habit of never meeting deadlines. I have a few questions that I need answered.

Ok. Since I'm late in writing this, I'll forgive your tardiness. 1. Is there anything good about the French? I mean, besides a fictional gay Nascar driver.

Fromage and Jacque Cousteau. That's all I can think of off the top of my head...oh! And without the French, who else could we make fun of? Again, back to the Yin/Yang thing. Ve NEED ze Fransh. Vizout ze Fransh, ve vould be nuzing more zan poopy non-Franshmen. And aye poo-poo ze very noshun ahv zat. Aye spit in eeets eye. Mont Blanc! 2. If Johnny has green eyes and loves ever-green trees, and Pam has brown eyes and loves oranges, then what does Miranda love? This question was taken from my Mensa calendar. If you can't answer it, it's ok. Only 2% of the population can.

The answer is 42. And just to show up those Mensa geeks and their "Genius-level" IQs, here's a question that 0% of the population can answer: Life in Provo or Death in Another City? 3. Who would win in a fight between Chuck Liddell and Chewbacca?

Toss up. Last I checked, Wookies pull people's arms out when they lose. I can only imagine what Liddells do when they lose. After watching both Star Wars and MTV's Cribs, however, I have to give the slight edge to Chuck. Seriously, do you think the Millenium Falcon has a bed big enough to fit a Wookie comfortably? The Liddell house, on the other hand, has a fridge that could fit a Wookie comfortably! Sleep is essential when cage fighting. Just ask Mel Gibson in "Beyond the Thunderdome."

4. If you were running for President..nevermind. I'll skip that one.

That's what Fred Thompson said. 5. Last question...How do you afford your Rock n' Roll lifestyle?

It's a careful blend of budgeting, high-paying jobs, and Guitar Hero tournament winnings.

Anonymous Kyle said...

I took some time to think this question over. The last one was woefully inadequate. (to be answered in a manner similar to a past blog entry) If you were to compare each SCOTUS Justice to a Muppet/Cartoon character , with whom would you compare them?

I nearly spit up milk when reading this one. This special request post will be addressed in the next installment. Thanks, Kyle!