App 2: The Utah Fan App

The Utah Fan App
Full Version: 3.99; "Non-Alcoholic" Version: Free

For those Utah football fans looking to revel in the Runnin' Utes' recent successes, this is not necessarily the App for you. Although, like the BYU Fan App, you can find video highlights of the Utes destroying Alabama in the 2008 Sugar Bowl or taking the paint off Pittsburgh in the 2004 Fiesta Bowl, the real must-have content of this App is in its most ingenious design:

Cougar Tears

Cougar Tears allows the user to easily navigate, intuitively browse, and conduct the most advanced searches for those greatest moments in Utah football history: the times wherein BYU fans (and players) cried. Among these timeless tragedies, users will find:
  • 34-31. Every field goal, every touchdown, every delicious tear-inducing play.
  • "The Duck", 2010. Utah's wobbly, deflated punt late in the fourth quarter of a game BYU led by five miraculously bounced off a BYU player and into the arms of a waiting Ute. Magic happens, indeed!
  • The Fan Drunk on Faith v. The Utah Cheerleader. Watch as the 250-pound Utah cheerleader gets sucker-punched by a rowdy (but rail-thin) BYU fan and then proceeds to pound BYU fan into the Cougar Stadium turf. Users have the option of setting this highlight to music, re-editing, and posting new mixes quickly and easily to facebook.
  • BYU v. Hawaii, 2001. A previously undefeated Cougars squad was pummeled on the islands to lose a potential Bowl Alliance Bid and renewed glory under Gary Crowton.
  • Gary Crowton, 2000-2004. Utah fans can relive every Crowton article, interview, and press release from the over-enthused media hype surrounding his arrival, his meteoric ascent in the Fall of 2001, and his ultimate and fiery demise in 2003's 3-0 loss to the Utes in the "Cold Bowl." (Warning: This feature may not be safe for work).
  • BYU v. TCU, 2009. BYU, then ranked no. 7 in the land and racing towards a BCS berth and perhaps a National Championship matchup, faced the Horned Frogs at LaVell Edwards Stadium in the game of the decade. TCU throttled BYU and, rumor has it, the "U" above Federal Heights mysteriously twinkled brightly for days (a celebration usually reserved for only the best of Utah victories).
  • John Beck, 2001-2004. Until he finally showed some backbone in 2005, the previous iterations of Beck made even the most warm-hearted Utah fan delight in his despair. Regularly weeping after losses, excusing his poor play, and wondering openly how life could be so unfair, Beck sole-handedly validated every Utah fan's stereotype of BYU.
Yes, Cougar Tears, like The Grinch Who Stole Christmas and A Christmas Carol, is sure to warm the warmest hearts of even the happiest of Utah fans.

Act quickly, as this Application is sure to sell out quickly...

...at least until the next loss, that is.

No comments: