App 1: The BYU Fan App

The BYU Fan App
List Price: 4.99; "Caffeine Free" Version: Free

This application allows the mightiest of loyal Cougar Fans to relive the glory days of McMahon, Young, Boscoe, Detmer, and Sarkisian.  Video highlights include: 

  • McMahon launching the Hail Mary to Clay Brown versus SMU in the Miracle Bowl; 
  • Young catching a touchdown pass against UCLA; 
  • Boscoe thrashing Michigan on an amputated leg; 
  • Detmer flinging the pigskin for thousands of yards per game against Miami and Oklahoma; 
  • Sarkisian lofting passes into the hands of descending angels as they flutter into the endzone;
  • Jonny Harline, alone in Rice Eccles Stadium, holding the ball as a silent Salt Lake City weeps;
  • Utah fans pouring beer. On themselves.
  • And many, many more 20- and 30-year-old highlights. (Well, maybe not "many" so much as "a few").
These video highlights have been designed specifically with the Cougar fan in mind.  The videos default to "repeat" so that Cougars may wallow at their leisure in their storied history while simultaneously reassuring themselves of their peculiar moral superiority.

AS A SPECIAL BONUS, Included with this App is the surefire gaming hit "Popcorn Popping on the Apricot Tree."  Taking full advantage of the always sublime Apple touchscreen technology, Popcorn Popping pits Cougar fans against the most dreaded of BYU rivals, both past and present. Players must launch footballs from the George Q. Cannon to deflect team helmets, logos, and mascots showering down from above before the forces of evil can decimate the barely budding Apricot Tree planted at the heart of LaVell Edwards Stadium.  

Players can defend the Apricot Tree against the likes of the blood-spitting Horned Frug, the piss-from-a-boot-pouring  Wyoming Cowboy, and the beer-chugging, wife-beater-clad, chronically-unemployed Ute Fan

Defend the tree from your foes and watch it blossom like a rose!

WARNING: in some instances, the BYU Fan App has caused Apple hardware to melt from the sheer awesomeness and holy glory that is BYU football.  Think Raiders of the Lost Ark melting Nazis, and you're in the ballpark.

1 comment:

KEW said...

A fine app--particularly the game. I was very glad to see you chose the right logo for the game. That's a "glory days" logo if I've ever seen one. :-)