Alright, so today's letter is not technically from today. It's from July 14--Monday. But a letter in today's paper alluded to it, so I had to check out this doozy from one of our faithful Bountiful residents. Looks like that damnable left-wing media is at it again! This time, it's in the guise of a cute robot and a human race gone...obese. Read on below: Again, black is the letter, blue is my response. This letter is in response to Michael Gearson's starry-eyed review of the movie "WALL*E" in the July 12 Comment section. I took my 9-year-old son to see this movie the day it came out. As I bought our tickets the clerk handed my son a small package. After the movie, he opened it to find a plastic WALL*E watch that wouldn't work, along with three trading cards for another soon-to-be-released movie. Alright. So far I'm with you. I went to go see WALL*E the day it came out too. With Erin. However, we didn't get anything cool like a watch! Where did you go, and do you think they have any more left?! Trading cards, too?! LUCKY!!!

The irony of my child receiving junk related to the "WALL*E" movie did not escape me. Nor did the hypocrisy. It's acceptable to pick on fat people. But try portraying any other cross-section of our society in such a negative light. Make a kids' movie showing where the ills of selecting a child's gender might take us in 700 years. I doubt you'd get such a dreamy review.

WHOA, Whoa, whoa. How did we get from irony of junk (which I agree with) to the hypocrisy of picking on fat people?! That's quite the presumptive jump there. Do you really think someone would enjoy this movie simple because of one of the messages it portrays? Let's think very carefully about what movies don't carry messages. Can't think of any? Good. That's because there are none. Literature, movies, tv, media...they all are stories, and stories tend to have messages in them. Now, please don't ruin a good movie by stripping it down to it's bare-bones message. If we did that to every story, here's what we'd get:

Snow White: Girls are only good for looking pretty, whistling while they work at home, taking care of the guys, and being wicked when they're jealous.

Pinocchio: The quest to become a real person requires you to never lie, listen to the voices/crickets in your head, and to be eaten by a gigantic whale at some point in your life.

Cinderella: You're only going to break out of the middle class and into the fairy tale life of the upper burgeouise by MAGIC. Education? Skill? Personality? NO. Talking mice, a fairy godmother, and a pumpkin.

It's a Wonderful Life: A life is only worth living if it influences everybody and makes your local town not only a better place, but an actual 50s Utopia. Sounds like Communism to me! Oh, Jimmy Stewart, you red dog.

Beauty and the Beast: At the end of the day, she'll dance with you, laugh with you, teach you manners, play with you, and even give a peck here and there, but you have to look good to get the Beauty.

Liberals cannot foretell the future any better than conservatives. I personally give the human race more credit than the "WALL*E" movie does. The cute robot held my son's attention. The blatant political agenda was, thankfully, way over his head.

Ellen Hindman


Oh, apparently this is a VAST, LEFT WING LIBERAL MEDIA PROPAGANDA PIECE!!! WALL*E must stand for We're All Loosey Liberals * Everybody! Below, you can see WALL*E trying to hold up what must be a red flag with a hammer and sickle on it. Some good American must have photo shopped that out.

I couldn't have known. How AWFUL that these pesky liberals then hijack OUR American, Apple Pie Pixar Movie! Then these pinkos go so far as to propose taking care of the earth, taking responsibility for our actions, and working hard to establish community and build up the human race.

And later, they have the GAUL to adopt the traditionally conservative power of emotion: holding hands, dancing, sharing moments with each other, and then go on to destroy the whole film with a simple, electronic kiss. How dare the obviously liberal Pixar pawns try to show emotion in a future populated by robots, pollution, and obese people wrapped up in materialism?!

Huh. If you ask me, we're already there. But I guess that would mark me as a horrible, left-leaning, liberal scum bag.

Sorry, Ellen, but if all you saw in WALL*E was a Left-Wing Prediction of the world, then you missed one of the most touching, heartfelt, sweet, funny movies to come around in a long time.


kew said...

Well done my friend. Glad to hear you and Erin are now a part of our vast liberal conspiracy! I was worried you were dating a conservative. ;-) Did you catch the next hot button for our liberal agenda? We hinted at it in Wall-E. We figured it would be best to promote the new one slowly at first like we did with the environment issues (see Bambi, et cetera). It is...wait for it...gay marriage! We started with two different types of robots getting together, we'll get to the real thing eventually. But don't tell anybody about the "liberal media". Nobody outside of Utah knows about it because they don't take Rush seriously. If only movies could be fair and balanced like fox news...

SGarff said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
SGarff said...

Actually by her logic Wall-E is really just right-wing propaganda aimed at corrupting our youth with the so-called “virtues” of conservatism. Among the many far-right doctrines that this film forces upon us are:

1. Robot monogamy: The way Wall-E advocates the notion of a committed relationship built upon a base of love and friendship is just appalling. Where is the uncommitted sexual fulfillment?

2. Personal responsibility: The film has the audacity to suggest that we should fix our own problems instead of relying on others.

3. The dangers of the welfare state: The Axiom, which by the way is the perfect incarnation of the liberal state, takes complete control over everyone’s lives and even becomes violent in its desire to perpetuate its paternalistic power.
4. Free will: Most disturbingly this film suggests that we are not merely victims of society but actually suggests that may overcome any “programming” that we may have

Perhaps most unforgivable of all; Wall-E never even mentions Global Warming.

EBV said...

Ha! Wonderfully stated, you two. I look forward to the day when the Socialist States of America are finally established...

Cody said...

The robots in WALL-E didn't even wear flag pins....What is this country coming to?

Anonymous said...

Forget about all the supposed propaganda. I just think it's lame they totally ripped off the robot from Short Circuit for the main character.

madelyn said...

Another wildly entertaining blog post by Eric. Well done!

Barb @ getupandplay said...

Great post, great comments, everyone!!

Andrew McKnight said...

Awesome post Eric. I've been absent from the blogging world for some time and celebrate the fact that upon my return I find that you remain in top form.

Nat said...

WALL-E was so good I saw it twice. TWICE. Great post Eric.

Jordan said...

Now, I haven't seen wall-e, but I wont let that stop me from telling you it was a stupid movie. I can't believe you dissed the classics! Snow White is actually about the reward you get in the end for putting up with smelly boys, aka brothers. Cinderella lets you know what a good pair of shoes can do for you! I know that one day my prince will come, and he will save me from work, because really, who wants to do it?