Five Things I've Learned From Mommy Bloggers
1. Smiling is an inconceivably cute miracle of life; passing gas is even cuter; pooping is the cutest. 2. If you tell people your life is fun enough, it will truly be fun. Serious fun. Great fun. Happy fun. Funny fun. Fun fun. If you're not happy or not having fun, there is something seriously wrong with you, because you should always be having fun. Serious. 3. Young Adult Romance Novels (Twilight, DUH!) Are The Epitome Of High Quality Fiction And Should Be Required Reading For Every Self-Respecting Woman Ever Because Edward Is So Hot And Every Guy Should Be Like That Even Though We Know That No Guy Should REALLY Be Like That But Oh My Gosh He Just Gives Me Tingles Even Though He Simultaneously Scares Me, But I Like That He Simultaneously Scares Me, So I'm Going To Keep Reading About It Even Though I Know It's Trashy, But I Try To Convince Myself And Everyone Around Me That It REALLY TRULY IS Quality Fiction, Because If Enough People Believe In It And Scream About It, It MUST Be Good And If It's Good According To Everyone Else, Well Then I'm Justified And Actually To Be Celebrated For My Choice In High Literature. *Breathe* 4. No one's babies are cuter than Mommy Blogger babies. Don't even try, or they will come after you with a wicked sharp comment on your own blog. Be ready, less cute Mommy Blogger baby! You're next... 5. Perfect Husbands are a dime a dozen. Every single Mommy Blogger has found herself one. They cook, they clean, they work hard, they crochet, they massage their wives' feet, they sculpt full body statues of their wives (who have perfect bodies), they even take out the garbage with a certain panache that drives Mommy Bloggers wild. These guys are so perfect, they must be cute when they pass gas, too.