GOOGLE ME HAPPY!!! (iphone webkinz tmz transformers youtube club penguin myspace heroes facebook anna nicole)

This post is dedicated to the dashing, beautiful, capable, Immigration-hatin', budget-balancin', Republican Rico Suave, Jason Chaffetz. May the rest of us one day aspire to be as awesome as you tell us you are.

After adding a little widget called SiteMeter to the BWP, I noticed something interesting:

Most of my foreign blog visitors (alright, anybody coming from outside the Northern Utah Area) were being fed into Boyd Where Prohibited not because of the wildfire-like word of mouth that's spreading across the English-speaking world. It's not because of the crazy-good quality of writing that pervades the walls of this thing. Sadly, it's not even because of other bloggers linking to me.

Nope, most visitors get drawn in because of the titles to either one of two stories:

"We Heart Penguins"


"Stephenie Meyer Sucks the Blood Out of Literature"

Google "We Heart Penguins" and my 2007 post about the cute little black and white creatures is the first thing that pops up. The same result if you google "Stephenie Meyer Sucks" (that made me happy in a not-so-nice, but ever-so-intoxicating way).

So in that vein, and in an attempt to make my blog UBERLY POWERFUL IN ONE FELL STROKE--I've slipped the 10 most searched items on Google last year into the title of this entry. Hopefully I'll have 300,000 visitors per second within the day. I'll let you know once I register my first million...

But, wait! That's only the FIRST great experiment being conducted in this post.

The Second? A little thing called Erico Narcissicus. The greatest blog-venture of all time. Ready for it? Wait for it...

Wait for it....


I hereby TAG every single person in the world.

BOOM! There it is!

I know, I know..."That's So Ambitious!" you might say. Or "WOWZERS! That boy deserves the Nobel Prize for "'Aint Gonna Happen!" But this isn't just any tag; oh no... this is the first tag of its kind.

You see, instead of writing about yourself and sharing some small bits of your life with other readers out there, you're going to write about ME.

Yep, I'm going to take a step over that imaginary boundary between good and evil, embrace the blood-sucking leech that is my Id, and slough off that faux exterior of humility.

I'm going skinny dipping in the glorious mountain lake of my soul. And you know what? The water's fine. Come on in, amigos!

Enjoy, and to everyone reading this entry, consider yourself tagged!

Simply write a response to the following topics and post it on your blog. If you don't have a blog, go ahead and write it and post on your fridge:

Name Five Things You Love About Eric

Name Five Things You Were Doing Five Years Ago That Could Potentially Relate to Eric

Name Five Things You Wish You Could Give To Eric In The Next Five Years

Name Five Things You Will Give To Eric In The Next Five Years

If You Could Be Eric for Five Days, What Would You Do? Why?

If You Were Stuck On A Desert Island With Eric, What Would You Bring To Make Eric Happy?

Name Five Beautiful Things That Remind You of Eric

Name Five Emotions You Associate With Eric

If you need something to inspire your personal muse, just refer to the adorable, awesome baby picture that is me at two-years.

Thank you for your participation. Let the Six-Billion-Post Marathon Begin!!!



Nat said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shelly! said...

I cannot wait to do this tag! Eric, you so make me smile. Now I just need you to date my cousin :) Maybe I shouldn't put that since she might be reading this...oh well, hi AWM!

And how fantastic is it that my word verification starts with EBV! Maybe I could put that in my tag...

Barb @ getupandplay said...

This made me laugh out loud! Unfortunately, I have a strict policy of only writing about myself on my own blog, you understand of course! ;)

KEW said...

(to be read in Homer Simpson donut voice):

Mmmmmmmm..... Narcissism.

Mel said...

Oh, Eric. What did I ever do without you and your blog all these years? I don't know if anything else will ever make me laugh so much and so often.

SGarff said...

Hopefully now even more people will discover the wit and wisdom of EBV. Great blog! Keep up the good work.

Andria said...

I confess....I am a "foreigner" who found your blog via "I Heart Penguins." Before you think I am creepy, here's how it happened:

My 2-year-old daughter loves penguins. She loves to sit on my lap and have me Google "penguins" and we look at all of the penguin pictures and decide what the penguins' names are, etc.

We came across your post, "We Heart Penguins." And then, idly, I started reading your blog. I thought it was funny, so I bookmarked it.

I still think it is funny, and now it is a blog I check regularly.

SO, I guess I fit two categories: I was lured to your blood-sucking blog by "We Heart Penguins," but then stayed FOR the witty writing and penetrating observations.

Thanks for being funny, and for almost always spelling things correctly.