Three things I'm afraid of (and why): 1. Oprah If power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely, when is Oprah going to destroy us all? 2. The Future This is all speculation, but it keeps me up at night: What if Michael J. Fox and Dr. Brown had it right? What if my rock star future depends on a hypothetical drag race I might or might not have with a gang of local hooligans? What if the decisions I make today could turn my future progeny into whining, sniveling airheads? What if our future flying cars run off nuclear energy and one melts down on the aerial I-15? What if I accidently ride my hoverboard over a body of water? What if my time machine gets stuck in the past and I can't find the requisite 1.21 gigawatts to power the flux capacitor? What if I don't get to end up with the girl in a tricked-out truck and a weekend camping trip? What if.... 3. Egg Nog What is actually in it? Milk, sugar, and eggs? What if it goes bad and I drink it? And if it's so great, why do people tend to drink it with a hefty spike of rum? Isn't that what Pirates drink to stave off a case of the Mondays? Do Pirates drink Egg Nog? 4. Being an Attorney Granted, the great majority of attorneys are great people. However, the greatness of this group is not what worries me. This great group of people collectively suffers from Obsessive Compulsive Disorders, Autism, Turett's Syndrome, and Severe Nerd Tendencies. Don't believe me? Go into any law firm and say "I'd like someone to take my case pro bono." Observe the ensuing chaos. Seriously, I'm excited to enter this field and try to work some good and become great at what I do. But knowing now what I know about attorneys (see Above Paragraph), I must question my own mental state: OCD: If you consider my losing sleep at night because I should have established my web address as "bev" not "ebv" to keep it in the proper alphabetical order, then YES. Check. Autism: "The three main characteristics [of autism] are (1) impairments in social interaction, (2) impairments in communication, (3) restricted interests and (4) repetitive behavior." (1). When in social situations, I tend to talk about law school; (2). When communicating about law school, I often don't notice when other people's eyes glaze over; (3). My interests are pretty varied--from law school pedagogy to law school success programs; (4). I don't feel my behavior is repetitive. But the fact that the above list states there are three main characteristics of autism when it actually lists four was enough to make me want to reboot the computer. Sooooo... Check. Turetts Syndrome. I don't consider myself to have a potty mouth. But sometims, whether I'm driving or analyzing arguments from opposing counsel, the angriest language slips out. At these times, I've been known to shout something like "Stupid, stupid, STUPID!" (always in threes) and slap my forehead in frustration. If I get excited, on the other hand, you may overhear me say "Yeah, yeah, YEAH!" (again, always in threes) and shake my celebratory fist in the air. I can't control these things. They just pop out! Check. Severe Nerd Tendencies. See All Previous Blog Posts up to This Point. Check Plus. Hmmm...maybe this is the field for me after all. I fit right in.


scott j said...

egg nog is delicious and there is no need to fear it's awesome holiday power. Further, try pairing it as follows: 3/4 egg nog 1/4 7up (not sprite or sierra mist) and a a scoop or two of vanilla ice cream....and fear no longer

M. Gordon said...

It takes a big man to admit his fears ... and it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man (thanks Jack Handy). I pray you find your girl, your truck, and your 1.2 gigawatts of energy. BTTFF!

Joseph said...

I'm going to photoshop that pencil back to it's proper position.