1984--Orwell Had it SOOOO Wrong

The totalitarian state where media, history,war, and human emotion were controlled by the amorphous Big Brother wouldn't come around for another 20 years when it would be realized by CBS. Oh well, it could have been worse. He could have predicted flying cars in 2010 (Back to the Future 2 anyone?)

Meanwhile, 1984 saw such advents as:

Timmy Vogeler--or as he's more commonly known: Little Brother, Big Lover.
Timmy was born this year and immediately began to steal affection away from his older, wiser, bigger brother. Needless to say, Eric was jealous in the way that only a two-year old can be of a squirming little newborn babe. Eric distinctly remembers nothing of this era, but can only assume that Timmy was cute and dribbly where Eric was argumentative and talkative. Eric's jealousy was well-founded as he was quickly discarded by both his older sisters and parents in favor of the cute one. Left to fend for himself as he hunted and gathered food, sought out water, and created his own shelters (OK--Twinkies, drinkies, and blanket forts, but you get the idea). While this bolstered Eric's inner resolve and physical strength, Timmy quickly became the favored one and Eric's ego wilted. Timmy would become the Ender Wiggin to Eric's Peter (minus the mutilated squirrels and Bugger Wars). And so it was, that on October 24, Little Timmy was born and a lifelong rivalry and brotherly love affair began.

(NOTE: Timmy and I have since patched things up.)

Also in 1984:

--TaB's original formula, developed in 1963 to help people keep tabs on their dietary intake (get it?), is tweaked on May 16 to mix saccharin with a small amount of aspartame. Thousands of famous athletes, politicians, and movie stars weep at the loss of their pure saccharin TaB and wonder whether they'll live long enough to find another common link so deceptively sweet as their favored drink.

--BYU wins the National Championship in Football. Provo river spills over its banks as does Provo's collective ego. The Honor Code is lifted for two weeks as a carnival-esque state of Mormon Mardi Gras descends upon Happy Valley. Coca-Cola is consumed without shame, lovers hold hands in broad daylight, and thigh-high shorts pepper the campus in the middle of January. BYU administration holds its breath for two weeks so that the color of the mighty Cougars might be reflected in their countenance. Angels sing "Rise and Shout" and the words "Because of you our faith is strong" are added to the school song to remind students to where they might look for football redemption. Hours after the re-establishment of the Honor Code, things in Happy Valley return to normal. --Crack Cocaine begins to sweep the nation. Famous athletes, politicians, and movie stars cry tears of joy and sniffle uncontrollably at the thought that they finally have a common link to replace TaB.


shjacobsen said...

happy birth year to Ti...Ti-MAY

Z said...

um...eric...i believe you got something very important about this year...it was none other than the year that i graced my presence to this earth :) miss ya!

Steve, Liz and Jaxon said...

I love everything about the 80's I must say... I only wish I were a teenager in the 80's.

Sam said...

Tag your it!