What Goddess...am....I...?!

Because Barbara asked everyone to try this Greek Goddess test out, I thought I'd give it a try. Quickly realizing that there was no Greek God equivalent, I went ahead and tried it out. I am proudly:
Artemis – 33.3%
According to the site I "feel complete without a man in (my) life" and "would never compromise (my) essential nature for a romantic partner." Both of these are very true and thus skewed the quiz. Although I would very much miss my little brothers, my Dad, all my cousins and buddies with whom I grew up. And, being as sports are a very essential part of my nature, I don't know how long I'd last if my romantic partner asked me to give them up. However, because I'm certain that the future Mrs. Vogeler is a complete and utter babe, I'd do it for her. I would. But that kind of attitude would be coming more from... Aphrodite—25% The goddess of love and sexuality. If those two adjectives don't sum me up in as many words, I don't know what other two words would. Maybe "steel" and "sass," perhaps "Jazz" and "fan," or maybe even "German" and "Blondie" (the adjectives I hear thrown my way most in Brazil). Furthermore, according to the site, I "tend to be charismatic and self-assured, comfortable with (my) body and unrestrained sexually." Yes, indeed, I find I can be both charismatic and self-assured, even comfortable with my sculpted build. But after a year of law school, my build seems less like Michaelangelo's David and more like Richard Dreyfuss' mashed potatoes from Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Yes, !Surprise!, sitting around all day studying, eating, studying, working, going to class, eating, going out, and eating (in that order) tend to add up rather quickly. But I take heart in the fact that my Aphrodite-esque characteristics will make me irresistable to the opposite sex.
Underneath my sexy exterior, however, a lingering set of insecurities gnaws at my self-esteem (or so says the quiz): Apparently I "tend not to form permanent attachments with lovers because (I) value (my) sexual freedom, which may leave (me) feeling lonely and even depleted once a relationship ends." Well, I know Mom's probably worried that I'm not married yet. (Mom--when you read this, I promise, I'll get to work on Grandkids as soon as I can. But first, I need to find a wife. Which requires a girlfriend. Which requires dates. It's a whole process thing...) So maybe this is the reason I haven't settled down with anyone yet--I value my "sexual freedom" too much. Whatever that means to a single white Mormon. Also, after ending any relationship, I think most of us feel lonely and depleted, at least for a little while. That must mean *cue nice, warm, violin solo* there's a bit of Aphrodite in all of us. (Ahhhh.....). But within my psyche, a third presence often makes herself known-- Hera—16.7% "(I am) confident and have no trouble asserting (my) authority in and out of the relationships." Couldn't agree more...or less. I feel like I'm pretty confident. I once walked up to a lovely young lady I didn't know, gave her some flowers and asked for her phone number. Pretty confident, no? Does it really matter that I was delivering the flowers her boyfriend had ordered for her from the Rose Shop, or that I needed her phone number to confirm the delivery? No. It doesn't. I'm also glad that Hera, as queen of the gods, has a little influence on me. Eric means princely or royal in my Father's native Norwegian. However, the authority part leaves room for concern. I therefore promise that, from this day forward, I will not put venemous snakes in my young child's bed, even if he happens to be a demi-god of supernatural strength.
Finally, there is a hard fought battle within my Ego and Id for the fourth place spot. I don't know if this signifies a healthy, well-rounded approach, or paranoid schizophrenia. You can decide for yourself. 8.3% Hestia
Don't think I remember Hestia. Maybe she was the goddess of "awesome." That would be spot on.
8.3% Athena
She's a smarty. I like to think I can be smart sometimes.
8.3% Persephone
Wasn't she the one dragged down to hell because she ate a pomegranate, and only allowed to visit the earth for the warm months of the year? Ahh, yes, I see the correlation. Law School=Hell.
Thanks, Barb, for the invite. However, next time, I'd prefer something less gender-specific, or perhaps a "Man Quiz" with guy-movie stars. I think I've got a good mix of Harrison Ford, Russel Crowe, Mel Gibson, and Simon Pegg (please go see Hot Fuzz!). Only, without any of their manic, inane tantrums and mid-life crises.
That, my friends, is all for the moment. Expect more on the morrow...


Barb said...

This totally cracked me up!! You are definitely in touch with your feminine side! Your future wife will find that appealing! Sorry I couldn't find a gender-neutral "Which All-Powerful Mythical Ancient Culture OmniPresent Being are You?" quiz. Surprisingly, not a top Googled phrase.

BTW- Hestia I think is goddess of hearth and home, first, and awesomeness second.

Kari said...

Do single mormons of different races have a different standard of "sexual freedom?" I simply ask because you said that you don't know what "sexual feedom" means to a single white mormon. :) HA!

EBV said...

Ha! Touche, Kari, touche. While I am definitely a sexual creature, I have that puppy on a very tight leash...at least for now. Thus, mayhaps a different standard of sexual freedom was inappropriate. Maybe a lack of reckless abandon, or even abandon would have been more appropriate. What race has to do with it is beyond me... it just sounded good at the time, like white bread, only plainer. ;P

Kristopher said...

Brother Vogeler,
It's high time we caught up. I do miss the Eric-isms that made each day worth waking up... Oh... memories of running across the street in a shirt tie and sandals to buy cheese breads and jacares doesn't hurt so bad either.

O Locken

PS- I need Parrellas email!