A Quick Follow-Up

Today, I got my revenge against Deficiency Woman. Well, really, revenge implies that I actively participated in this, so maybe Karma would be a better word. Yes...Karma caught up with her. Early this morning, while riding our usual bus--the 5930 to Brooklin Novo--the extreme cold (read: 50 degrees Fahrenheit) caused everyone in the city to get up a little bit later and get to work a little slower, kiss a little longer...sorry, dropped into a Wrigley's ad there. Thus, each and every bus that is usually pretty roomy by the time I grab it was FULL to the brim. In order to give you an idea of how "full to the brim" your typical metropolitan Brazilian bus can get, I propose to you the following metaphor: Imagine your freshmen year of highschool, and you trying to find a ride with some of your friends. Because you're a freshman in highschool, you haven't formed up into tightly exclusive cliques yet, so everyone's your friend still. Thus, when you walk with your friends, you really walk in packs of 20-30 people at any given time, usually according to where you went to Jr. High, how pretty you are (boys or girls) and whether or not acne has ravaged your face or your braces are still on. One of the friends in your pack has an older sibling who has their own VW Jetta, and is willing to give you a ride. In fact, this sibiling is so kind as to offer a ride to your cute friends as well. You know what happened next: you packed those 30 friends into the car tight like sardines, one on top of the other, a couple riding on top of the car, three others sitting on the bumper, and about five people crammed into the passenger seat. There are arms flailing everywhere, squeals of pain and giggles in between the horrid scrapes being made by the car as it makes its way slowly up the hill towards the first house. By analogy, the level of discomfort and agitation experienced by you and your highschool friends is about equal to a roomy bus in Brazil. Now double the amount of people in that little VW, and you have a "FULL to the brim" bus. Anyway, back to my story. Today, we passed by a lot of busstops without stopping to pick anyone up, as the bus was too full. We already had people hanging on to the bus doors, sitting on laps, and generally moving as one big mass when necessary. Peering out of the window in the midst of this personal space attack, I chanced to glimpse "deficiency woman." Looking extremely agitated and wanting to get onto a bus at some time soon to get out of the cold, she realized that this bus was not going to allow her on. She was not going to be able to bully, elbow, or make dreary. She was NOT going to have the satisfaction of making THIS American move on THIS day. When my eyes met hers, her brows furrowed in a look of frustration, and I smiled with all of the sunshine of my soul. Never has a look of death seemed so sweet. Though, I'm pretty sure she cursed me, and that by this time tomorrow I'll have my own voodoo doll with pins through it, it was worth it. It was so worth it. Bless Karma.


Barb said...

Somewhere out there is that woman's blog where she daily writes about the enmity she feels toward some random American... just kidding. Isn't it funny that an arch-nemisis can come out of nowhere?? I have one, too.

Sarah said...

Hahaha...I don't know if I've laughed this hard in awhile...(actually, that might be a lie..things have been pretty funny lately). But I love the saga with deficiency woman. Keep us all posted.

Cotter said...

My arch-nemisis also came from an encounter on the bus in BRAZIL. I was riding with my family minding my own business when some creepy old man came up behind me and stuck his face in my hair. HE WAS SMELLING MY HAIR. If you happen to see that old man... punch him for me!

EBV said...

Barb: Please write about your nemesis

Sarah: Please write about the funny things

Lyndsay: I will kick him where it counts and say "Don't you DARE smell another foreign girl's hair, or I'll kick you harder." Or, in the original Portuguese: Nem pensa em cherar o cabelo de uma gringa, ou vou te chutar com mas forca ainda.

Bless you all. -ebv