2.07.2007

Perry Mason I am not...maybe Matlock

Had a moot court/trial advocacy competition today to once more reaffirm that I am a little flounder flopping around sadly on the floor of the J. Reuben Clark. Today's hypothetical case: Lee Stevenson vs Lone Star Bar & Grill. Sadly, I was the only one in the school who got really excited to be representing Bill Pullman in "SpaceBalls." I wonder if I belong down here sometimes.


(Aside: Funny how the Spanish translation is literally "The Crazy History of the Galaxies." I would have gone with "Huevos de la Espacia." Oh well)


Anyway, this whole mock trial was pushed on us about a week ago, where they gave us 40-page information packets with evidence, witness information, the Federal Rules of Evidence, and basically said "Go to it!" Another sad example of the sham that is Law School.



So, after mocking a trial for nearly two hours with little or no idea as to what I was doing, our guest judge (a litigator out of Salt Lake(?) I put that question mark there because he preferred to be called "Your Honor" than that we use his actual name). So, in the end, he gave us comments and feedback with which we could potentially improve our litigative skills. Only, his comments were more on the line of "I wouldn't do that if I were you..." and "You shouldn't do that, or else the jury might rule against you." Literally. Vague like that. Needless to say, the whole experience was less than ideal. That kind of reinforcement is, hmmmm....let's see, it's not positive...oh, yes!

It's negative.

I guess it's a good thing that I don't really want to be the kind of cutthroat lawyer that patrols the halls of the nation's court houses. I'd rather cut myself in the mold of ol' Benjamin J. Matlock, not Perry Mason. See, doesn't Matlock look so much happier?

In other news, found out that I know Cody Roberts 30% less than his wife does. I guess that's probably a good thing for both parties.

4 comments:

Cody said...

Oh Eric..... i think you did very well on my quiz. Here's the thing about dude's.... they can be firends for years, but when it comes down to it they know nothing about eachother. Other than their favorite foods, sports teams, and women.

If I could pick my lawyer mentor I would go with the D.A. from Law and Order.

Is it nerdy that I watch Law and Order? TNT and USA every night of the week! I think you could learn a lot from him....

EBV said...

As far as their court demeanor goes, Law and Order's pretty good...however, their law is bad. Ultimately, I aspire to be Lionel Hutz... the "Law-Talking Guy"

Cody said...

Are you telling me that there are things I see on TV that aren't real? Thats ridiculous Eric.....

EBV said...

No, no, no, Cody, everything on TV is "real"--it's just a little bit different, that's all. Now go watch Jack Bauer take down the militant muslims, 'cause that's as real as it gets...